Top Tips to Be Better in Bed

April 01, 2023

Top Tips to Be Better in Bed

Are you looking to take your bedroom game up a notch? It's no secret that sex can be an intimidating topic to talk about… But when something is so much fun, it really shouldn’t be! So let's get comfortable and have some fun talking about the bedroom — because believe it or not, being great in bed isn’t an innate ability.  

The truth is that just like any other skill, being good in bed is something that you can actually get better at with practice. Here are six tips that will help you become better in bed — from learning how to express yourself more freely, to confidently exploring new positions and techniques. Read on for some tried-and-true advice on how to become a master between the sheets!


Communication Is Key

One of the most important things you can do to be better in bed is to communicate with your partner. Having an open, honest dialog about your sexual desires, boundaries, and expectations can help ensure that both of you get what you want from the experience and have a blast in the process.

Talking about sex doesn’t need to be awkward — try making it a fun and enjoyable conversation! Prior to getting down to business, create a safe space to discuss where you can discuss your comfort levels and share your fantasies earnestly.

You can begin by sharing some of your preferences related to love-making, and don’t forget also mention your deal breakers. Ask your partner to share the same. Talk about what turns them on and off, what their favorite touches are, and their kinks; it'll help you both become better in bed. Once you’ve had that conversation, it will be easier to let go and have the kind of intimate experience that you both crave.

Then, once you’re truly in the moment, keep communication sexy. You can ask your partner how they like what you’re doing, if they want you to go harder or softer, or if they want you to touch them in a specific way.

It’s best to stick to simple questions that can be answered with one word, though, in case your partner is too caught up in the moment. That said, if your partner is so inclined, you can also lean more heavily into dirty talk, which will definitely keep the spark going.


Stay On Rhythm

Rhythm and consistency are everything when it comes to great sex. It’s much more important than having high stamina or incredible flexibility! Having a sense of rhythm ensures you’ll keep your movements consistently pleasurable for your partner, and it’ll also help you stay in tune with their bodies. This is true regardless whether you or your partner like things slow and soft or fast and rough. 

Just being aware of how important it is to keep your rhythm consistent during sex should be useful. If you think you need to develop better rhythm, listen to music, practice dancing, or even take a drumming class.


Learn Your Partner's Pleasure Points

Another way to be better in bed is to pay attention to your partner’s reactions and learn their pleasure points (the areas that they really enjoy having touched) as well as the types of touch they enjoy. Your partner may let you know when you first get to talking about sex, but if they don’t, pay attention to the sounds and movements they make once you start being intimate. 

You can also discover each other’s pleasure points as a part of foreplay. Take off the pressure of full-on intercourse, and instead spend some time exploring and experimenting with different kinds of touch and pressure:

  • Light, feather-like touches
  • Long, slow strokes
  • Firm pressure
  • Short, concentrated touches
  • Teasing caresses
  • Rapid firmer strokes

By trying different types of touching and asking for feedback from your partner, you’ll be able to find out exactly what they like. And once you know their pleasure points, you can use them to make sex more enjoyable for both of you!


Spice Things Up With Role-Playing and Games

If you feel like you’ve already mastered the basics of excellent communication and knowing your partner’s touch points, then it’s time to get spicy. Role-playing and games are great for getting better in bed because they force you to do something totally different.

Start Small

Before going all out with a full-on character enactment complete with props and costumes, start small and try using simple cues to set the scene. Feel free to try classic prompts, like pretending that you're strangers meeting in a bar. Do try to set the scene, though, by using mood lighting or playing different music than what you would normally listen to in bed.

Get Creative

Think about what kind of fantasy role-play might excite both of you — maybe it's a doctor/patient scenario or a teacher/student situation. If you’re not sure, pull up some erotica (we’re big fans of the selection at Literotica) or think back to your favorite adult films. Once you have some ideas in mind, discuss them together and see which ones you’re both comfortable exploring.

Use Toys & Games

Sex toys can add another level of stimulation. Let go of your inhibitions and experiment with dildos, handcuffs, role-play cards, gags,  or even sex dice. All of these can add an extra layer of sensorial excitement to your sex life. 


Learn From Others

To be really good in bed, the most important thing is to know what your partner likes. That said, learning from others is also important, and we’re not talking about porn here. Your partner might be shy or new to sex, or maybe you want to please a lot of people. Either way, it’ll be useful to learn what your target audience enjoys more broadly. 

The best way to gain that kind of knowledge is to spend time on forums where real people discuss sex frankly and openly. Reddit and FetLife both have excellent communities where people aren’t afraid to share their real thoughts and feelings about sex. You can also look up books or videos on the topic, but we stress — stay away from porn. While it can be a lot of fun to watch adult films, they’re rarely educational.


Keep the Intimacy Alive Outside the Bedroom

Making sure the intimacy between you and your partner doesn't just stay in the bedroom is key to having great sex. It’s useful in both long-term and casual situations! Outside of the bedroom, some of the ways to keep the sexual tension high include: 


  • Express your attraction for one another through words, sexy gifts, and compliments
  • Make physical contact throughout the day; let hugs linger a little longer, don’t be stingy with kisses, and don’t be afraid to touch or stroke your partner when you’re near them
  • When you’re apart, send messages, photos, or videos with a sexy angle. A quick pic of you in latex lingerie in the morning will be the only thing your partner will think about for the rest of the day! 
  • Make conversations about sex a regular part of your dialogue. Take the time to discuss intimacy during non-intimate times, as a way to check in and ensure you’re both mutually satisfied with what’s going on.


A Better Sex Life Is Possible

Being better in bed isn't about technique and skill; it's mostly about communication and learning how to create an atmosphere of sensuality. So open up the conversation, be honest, pay attention, keep an open mind, and be willing to learn and experiment. With these six tips and the right attitude, we know you’ll become an even better lover and enjoy a more pleasurable and satisfying sex life!